Breakfast of Champions

I love my programmable Mr. Coffee pot. My nature, in general, is to get all snobby and persnickety and hipster-like about these things, so of course I could go for a French press or a Chemex pot, but no. In the case of coffee, it’s Mister for me. I like to program the pot the night before, so when I wake up in the morning I can hear its comforting brewing noises all a-gurgle and even start to smell the coffee as the pot fills up and then finally head into the kitchen where waiting for me I have a freshly made, piping hot pot of water. Yup. Forgot to put the grounds in last night. All the technological advances in the world can’t turn water into coffee without any ground up beans.

While we’re on the topic of technological advances applied to everyday praxis, have I told you about my new electric toothbrush? CW’s family gave everyone (including me) a Spinbrush for Christmas, and let me tell you, I was excited about it. I’ve never used an electric toothbrush before, so this was a pretty fun novelty for me — a buzzing, battery-powered, gum-vibrating novelty. Until I realized that I must somehow be using it wrong. Every time I use it, no matter how conservative I am with the application of toothpaste, no matter how carefully I wet the bristles, I still manage to create a RIVER of water/toothpaste/spit mixture that starts flowing down the brush handle from the bristles and winds up either on my lower lip, chin, hand, or all three. No matter what I do, I can’t stop the stupid spit-river.

I have always been a proud user of technology and, I thought, good with mechanics. I am the last person to complain about not being able to use any computer- or internet-related tools; I can put together any pice of furniture, even the IKEA kind with only pictorial instructions. I fix small things on my car all by myself. I am good at stuff! I swear! Except this morning, there I was, in all my glamorous glory, with a pot of hot water in my Mr. Coffee and a Spinbrush spit-river running down my chin.

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11 thoughts on “Breakfast of Champions

  1. Mel January 23, 2013 / 9:34 pm

    Ugh, French Press. It’s gritty and grainy and full of sediment. Aero press or nothing. Well, aero press or the free coffee at work. Then again, I live with a human “Mr. Coffee” who gives me those same delights by getting up before I do and making it while I sleep in.

    • KO January 24, 2013 / 4:49 pm

      Sadly, in my relationship I am the only one who likes coffee first thing in the morning, so there’s no Human Mr. Coffee option. Heh.

  2. Clarabella January 23, 2013 / 10:14 pm

    Nope, that happens to everyone with the electric toothbrushes. Or so I hear. It’s why I stopped using mine. Although I was also delighted by the novelty of it to begin with. (Maybe the $$$ ones don’t do it? I didn’t spend much on mine.)

    • KO January 24, 2013 / 4:50 pm

      It really relieves me to hear this. CERTAIN people had no idea what I was talking about when I mentioned it.

  3. Chrissy January 24, 2013 / 5:36 am

    Ha! Great image. I am also a lover of the programmable coffee pot, only I just started using the programmable feature this semester, and it has improved my life in ways I never imagined. I don’t know why I waited so long, but I don’t care. The important thing is that now the coffee is up before I am. The Future is here!

    • KO January 24, 2013 / 4:50 pm

      Future Coffee 4 Life!

  4. A January 27, 2013 / 1:35 am

    Delurking to admit to being a fellow electric toothbrush incompetent…to the point where I have to brush my teeth before I get dressed for the day so as to avoid covering my top half in a charming combination of water, toothpaste, and…yuck. If it’s any comfort, you get less messy with practice!

    • KO January 31, 2013 / 5:16 pm

      Thanks! Good to know I’m not the only one 🙂

  5. TimT February 2, 2013 / 5:09 am

    Get an espresso machine! I miss ours. Though the French press is pretty cool.

  6. TimT February 2, 2013 / 5:10 am

    I like how your blog has become a food blog. Health, I can never understand that. Food, now, there’s a different story…. 😉

    • KO February 2, 2013 / 6:11 pm

      I only just blather on about whatever my current obsession is, and in a month of focusing on food, well, this is what you get! But I’m about to start training for a half marathon, so…running posts will be coming at you. DUCK.

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