A few days ago I had to leave a nasty note on someone’s car in the university parking deck for the anti-social crime of taking up two spaces and not even displaying the proper permit. Just this morning I had to unleash my middle finger and arsenal of cuss words (which primarily involved a hearty “fuck you”) while on an otherwise idyllic bike ride around town. What is this world coming to, I ASK YOU.
Can I just take a moment to tell you about one of the idiots I encountered on this morning’s ride? I was coming down the little two-lane road that leads to my house and preparing to make a left turn into my parking area. I was going slowly and signaling my turn, waiting for two cars in the left lane to pass by before I did so. You know, your basic left turn scenario. So one of the two oncoming cars decides to swerve into his left lane (in other words, he crossed the double yellow lines into my lane; in still other words, he was driving up the wrong goddamned side of the road). Meanwhile, the car behind him is still headed my way. So there are now two cars, one in each lane, headed for me and there is nowhere for me to go. What the everloving what. So I just stopped and got off my bike and stood there, and they both stopped, and I gave the bird and shouted my “fuck you” over top of whatever the lane-crossing, law-breaking, hazardous idiot was trying to say. I couldn’t understand whatever he was yelling at me and it’s just as well because it did NOT sound very courteous or mannerly.
In other news, I rode 21 miles today, a personal distance record for this injury-prone year. It felt pretty great.
Finally, a question: do you pay with cash at the store, occasionally? Is this practice becoming as annoyingly antiquated as paying by check? If I pay with cash, am I now viewed as the old lady who refuses to learn the more efficient technologies of modern life?
I often use cash as a way of budgeting my small day-to-day expenses, so I find myself paying with cash when I’m buying an afternoon coffee or snack or some such. I also occasionally use it at the grocery store when I’m just picking up a few things. I have noticed that whenever I do this, the pimple-faced teenagers working the cash register tend to give me a confused up-and-down stare, and it tends to take them about five minutes to figure out how to input the amount of money I gave them into the register, see the amount of change due, and count it back to me. Is this no longer a basic cashier skill? Why back in my day, when I worked cash-till jobs in high school and college, we really knew how to count change. It was a basic life skill.
I swear. Kids these days. Do they even learn anything anymore? Now get off my lawn.