Today's Headlines Provide Evidence It Is Indeed Monday

Evidence that it is Monday:

Sunday Night Insomnia Continues, Scientists Warn Against Getting Less than Three Hours’ Sleep

Constantly Malfunctioning Photocopier Continues to Malfunction

Creepy Maintenance Dudes Lock Instructor Out of Office, Sneer

Lit Class Jerkwads Arrive Late, Disrupt Lecture Multiple Times

Constantly Malfunctioning Drink Machine Continues to Malfunction

Constantly Malfunctioning Paper Towel Dispenser in Ladies’ Room Continues to Malfunction

Last Night’s Acceptably Spotty Banana too Brown to Enjoy by Lunchtime Today

Worries about Possible Layoffs Continue

Stuck on Elevator with Rudely Loud and Domineering Office Neighbor; Elevator Stops on Every Floor

Prescription Reasonably Priced at $50/Year Turns Out to Really Cost $50/Month

Dean Emails Students, Reminds them to Skip Class Friday for Religious Reasons; Faculty Inundated by Student Requests for Excused Absences

Mitigating Factors Give Skeptics Reason to Think It May Not Be Monday:

Landlords Take Pity on Careless Renter, Do Not Charge Late Fee on Rent that is One Day Late

Long Late-Afternoon Nap and Red Panang Curry Provide Pleasant Transition from Day to Evening

Cute Dog is Cute

New Ballet Flats for Summer Arrive, Match Blog Color Scheme

Forgotten Brownies Discovered in Local Freezer

What do you think? Is it Monday where you are, metaphysically speaking? What are your headlines?

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5 thoughts on “Today's Headlines Provide Evidence It Is Indeed Monday

  1. Timothy April 7, 2009 / 1:40 am

    Dropped bottle of fish sauce on kitchen floor. New in-home scent not as pleasing as previous, fish sauce free scent.

    Kitchen: Now with the great scent of fish!

  2. Ruby April 7, 2009 / 12:36 pm

    Please tell me the new flats are amazing. I want to order some before I pay my taxes and cry a lot.

  3. Alfina the Vague April 7, 2009 / 2:17 pm

    T- Ugh! That is evidence of Monday for sure. Fish sauce is potent stuff.

    R – I haven’t worn them out yet but they are cute and comfortable. Definitely order a 1/2 or whole size up, though (check out reviews on zappos.com for more info on that).

  4. Danimal April 7, 2009 / 3:41 pm

    Can Finally Leave Back Door Open For Air, Study Finds

    Related: Dog Barks Up In April

    Citing “Severe Pregnancy,” Wife Refuses To Make Room On Couch

    There Are Bugs In My Office

  5. Brandon April 8, 2009 / 5:41 pm

    Office Mouse Still on the Loose

    New Neighbors Annoying, Barking Lab has Replaced Old Neighbors Annoying, Barking Lab

    Office Drone Lazily Allows Forgotten Password to Prevent Him From Purchasing iPhone Apps

    Cadbury Egg Stain Still on Futon

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